TRANSCRIPT
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Tenacious Living Radio Show. It is so great to have you here today. I am broadcasting live from Calgary, Alberta today. And our guest who’s sitting in the virtual Green Room is calling in from Minnesota. Her name is Dana Wilde, and she’s the bestselling author of train your brain and CEO of the mind aware, she is a trusted authority in creating positive mindset for entrepreneurs, sales professionals, corporate leaders, and everyone else helping them achieve results in success. In addition, Dana is the host of her own radio show where she interviews celebrity experts on positive mindset and cutting-edge marketing strategies for entrepreneurs. So without further ado, Dana, welcome to tenacious Living Radio. How are you today?
Hi, terrific. Thanks for having me. Carrie-Ann.
Ah, I am so excited to have you joining us today. You were just finishing up a call. You’re quite a busy woman these days, aren’t you?
Yeah, but it’s all good. I’m never too busy for you.
It’s all good. Excellent. I wanted to find out a little bit more about your book, train your brain because a lot of people are going to train your brain like, what’s that all about? Right? So can you explain how our brain shape our lives? Because of the beliefs stored in the unconscious mind? And how do we form our beliefs?
Sure, you know, I started doing a road train your brain, mainly because I started a direct sales business. And I got into the direct sales business. And I realized everybody for building businesses was out there teaching how to methods to build a business, how to pick up the phone, how to contact five people a day, all of these types of things. And really, when you look around at our culture, we’re really kind of an action driven culture, I like to say a lot of the trainings out there, no matter what you’re doing, whether you’re wanting to lose weight, or, you know, become whatever, a great basketball player, all of these different things. There’s a lot of how to, but not many people out there are talking about the mental game or talking about mindset. And that’s what I realized was happening in the direct sales industry, everybody was giving these methods of action to take to build your business. But nobody was talking about the importance of getting your mindset right first. And so the basic premise behind train your brain is to teach people how to use their brains more effectively. And all of us, and you probably have heard this before, a lot, all of us have beliefs about ourselves and about the world around us, stored in our unconscious minds. So we have beliefs, like, I’m a procrastinator. I like broccoli. You know, I’m a bad swimmer, I’m good at art. I’m not a morning person, you know, all of these things that we’ve come to know as ourselves and who we are, we act on them automatically. And there is a part of our brain called the reticular activating system that is matching up our outside world to these beliefs. And so we end up really kind of living on automatic pilot people end up going around and have just incremental change in their lives because they don’t really understand the basic premise of how the brain works. And then how to use it more effectively for change how to change those beliefs. So therefore, you change your outcomes. Does that make sense?
It does, where did some of those beliefs come from? Like it’s on such a subconscious level? Where do you think that they really stem from or originate from?
I’ll tell you think about it this way. Most of us come into the world, completely clean slates. We’re like little babies, right? Completely. No ideas about anything except just you know how to get through the day. And as time goes on, we learn different things. We stand up, take those first steps, you know, learn how to walk across room or we reach out into space and we navigate our hand in space and through hit and miss, we finally pick up a rattle and learn how to grab an object in space. But when we’re first doing that, though, we’re using our conscious minds, we’re focusing our conscious minds, we’re focusing our full conscious attention on how to navigate the hand and space and grab the rattle or how to take those first steps across the room. And over time, we practice that and practice it and practice it. You know, there’s a lot of activity when you’re walking across the room, think of all the muscles in your legs that are moving and you’re balancing and you’re navigating space and all those things. Well, after a time, you get so good at walking across the room, most of us today, when we get up and we walk across the room, we don’t quote unquote, think about it, we don’t use our focus conscious mind anymore. We’ve turned that over to our unconscious mind. Well, that’s exactly the same way that we get our beliefs, whether that be that I’m a procrastinator, I’m not a morning person. They’re simply ideas that we practice over and over and over again, until we turn them over to our unconscious mind.
So when we turn them over to our unconscious mind, do you feel Do you think that people are sabotaging themselves when they allow those negative beliefs about themselves? I’m not a morning person. I’m an organized I’m not creative. Does that are there are people sabotaging themselves? When that happens? Thanks for asking that curious because I’ll tell you something. There. There’s a really big movement out there a lot of people talking about your subconscious mind is sabotaging you are their things hidden in your subconscious that are the reason for your failure. There’s all this kind of marketing and Hollywood drama around the subconscious mind sabotaging you and it’s kind of silly when you think about it, it’s kind of is treating subconscious mind as mugger something, you know, like it’s standing behind a tree just waiting to jump out and knock you down. And the reality is, the unconscious mind is your best friend, it is standing at attention all day, every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, there’s a part of the brain called the reticular activating system. And the reticular activating system is full time job all day every day is to sift through everything in the outside world. And to filter through all the billions of bits of information, you know, think right now in this moment, all of the colors and sounds and scents and sensations that are we’re experiencing there, we’re taking them out to a system filter through all of this, and it matches what it finds in the outside world to whatever is stored in your unconscious mind your beliefs. And so the reality is, your unconscious mind is your best friend, your you know, virtual assistant, your little matchmaker in your head, we just have to know how to use it. And once you know how to train your brain and how to use it, that’s when you can really start leveraging the power of that that line.
You know, I love what the way that you say when you start using it to work for you. Because that’s a big part of tenacious living is figuring out what you have within yourself and making it work for you and really motivating you to move through life in a very positive mindset. So knowing that, having said that, I want to go back to I’ve read in your in your work. What is the how is that different from the cycle of perpetual sameness? Well, this cycle of perpetual so what is that cycle?
Yeah, it basically it goes like this, if you think about, you have a belief stored in your unconscious mind. And I’ll give you an example. We worked with a filmmaker who was really, really shy. And he had a belief stored in his unconscious mind that he was shy, he’d been shy his whole life. It wasn’t like, you know, he wondered, gosh, am I shy or not? He knew it without a fact. He was shy. Well, then the reticular activating system goes to work. And when he would get into outside world situations, like he would walk into a networking event to talk to people about his films, you know, wanting to find partners to work with or looking for, you know, different staff, you know, crew for his films. He would immediately get nervous, you know, he didn’t have to look up our checklists like, okay, it’s a crowded room. I don’t remember. How do I feel about being a part of a crowded room, right. He didn’t have to do that because his reticular activating system automatically made his palms sweat, his heart would start to get rapid his breathing It gets shallow. All of that happens automatically. So the outside world match that inside picture of him being shy, then, like most of us, he would leave the event. And unfortunately, he wouldn’t have a very good experience. And he would do that thing that many of us do. And he’d start beating himself up. I’m so stupid, I can’t believe that I can’t string a sentence together. And I’m so nervous. I never can talk to anybody. And I’m never going to find anybody to work on my projects. And I wish I could do it. Who would want to work with me, I don’t even want to work with me. I can’t, I’m so shy. I hate that I’m shy in crowds, on and on and on. Well, the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So it’s not like he just had this experience one time, when he beats himself up like that, what would happen is, he would have that experience like it was 1000 times over, each time reliving the experience that works up a bunch of emotion and emotions like glue for the unconscious mind, telling himself over and over and over again, he’s shy, he’s illusory, shy, it’s not going to work. He’s shy, it’s running his business, cementing into the unconscious mind that idea that he shies. So round and round it goes, he’s got an idea in the unconscious mind is Shai, it matches up in the outside world, he beats himself up, he cements it back in the unconscious mind, it matches up the outside world. That’s the cycle of perpetual sameness. And that’s what most of us are doing. Because most of us are having experiences in the world. And if we just had the experience, it wouldn’t be so bad. But we spend all that time beating ourselves up and reinforcing the image of ourselves.
So how do we get off that cycle of perpetual? How do you feel that people can get off that cycle of perpetual sameness? What are your choices in that in that regard?
You back great question. There are basically three exits of the cycle of professional sameness, the first one is straight to the unconscious mind. So this would be you know, you go in, you get some hypnotherapy, maybe just the self-directed hypnosis, you change those beliefs that are stored in the unconscious mind. The second exit, is in the behavior or in the outside world. This is the method that most of us use from January 1 until January 5 of every year, we try to force ourselves to behave differently, you know, we try to force ourselves to, you know, run three miles every day, or you approach 10 people about our business, or whatever it is that change, we want to make eat healthier, and all those things. It’s not very effective, because it’s very challenging to act differently than what our beliefs are. And then the third exit, is in that self-talk, it’s in that conscious mind. And if you remember, the conscious mind is exactly how we got the beliefs in the first place, you’ve got the child with the focus mind, walking across the room, taking the first steps, you’ve got the belief that you’re reinforcing in your mind over and over again, with your conscious mind focusing on it until it becomes a belief. So when you stop that negative self-talk, when you start talking differently to yourself, when you change those conscious thoughts, when you make an effort to think differently, and to talk differently, then you have the opportunity to reprogram that unconscious mind, you have the opportunity for that reticular activating system to start going to work for you. So that’s the exit that we talk about and train your brain.
Okay, so the majority of our listeners are probably going through a little bit of unrest in their life right now they know something’s wrong, but they’re just not quite sure what it is. So can you give us an example of what our listeners could do could make at that conscious level? Can you give us an example of making a change when they’re in that mindset?
Yes, absolutely. So I’m going to start out talking with you a little bit about talking to yourself in a perfect way using perfect language. And then if you like, as we go on, I would like to give some alternatives because sometimes when people have tried to talk to themselves positively, they may feel like they’re lying to themselves. And so as we go on in this conversation, I can give you some techniques for that, too, you know, for people who feel like they’re lying to themselves, but I want to start out talking about perfect language, because I think it’ll really help to explain why this is so important and why it’s so powerful. When you’re talking to yourself in a negative way, and you’re programming your mind in a negative way. And so let’s say you’re saying something like, you know, I’m unhappy, or I’ve got some unrest. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I feel terrible. Things aren’t going well for me. I can’t seem to find a shift. I can’t seem to get any traction. Things are I’m not feeling good about my life. Is this the kind of feelings you’re talking about? Carry on?
Yes, yeah. Yeah, because a lot of us are become aware. Like we just know something it doesn’t feel right. Yeah. So it’s those is failing. So what’s wrong?
Yeah, okay, so that if that’s the case here exactly what I want to make sure we’re starting from the right point, if that’s the case, then without a shadow of a doubt, for sure, you’re not going to get out of feeling bad by continuing to talk about feeling bad. That’s a guarantee. You know, we’d like to say we have a phrase over at the mind where, and what we say is, the problem is not the problem. The problem is that you keep thinking about the problem, and you keep talking about the problem, right? So. So if you have a problem is a problem, you can just keep talking about if you keep thinking about it. So as long as you keep saying things to yourself, like, I don’t know what’s wrong, but something’s wrong. And I’ve been arrested, I’m bothered, and things aren’t going well, for me, and I don’t know what it is, I wish I felt better. Well, you can’t get a solution from that mindset. So your brain actually, when you’re thinking those negative thoughts, it shuts off the creative pathways. So if you want to feel better, you have to start talking a little bit differently. And obviously, imperfect language world, a perfect language would be to say things like, I’m feeling so much better now. Things are going my way, things are getting better, I love that things are picking up, I love that things are, are happening. More and more of a lightest Come on, things are so clear. Now, that would be so awesome. Like, that would be what we’re shooting for. But I know sometimes that challenging when you’re feeling bad. So what we tell people is try to coax yourself into feeling better. You know, if you’re saying, I feel terrible, that’s so different than saying, you know, I’m willing to start feeling better, I’m willing to start feeling better, I like that I’m open to the idea, you know, I can even just say that I can start to feel a little shift in my body. And, and I like that shift, I’m, I’m open to feeling better. And then I’m open to finding something. And I know that other people have been in this place before and, and they found their method. So I could probably find mine too. And I am I’m hopeful that that could happen. And I’m willing to be hopeful. And I’m willing to start thinking differently. And I know, I don’t necessarily have to be bouncing off the ceilings with joy, but I’m okay with just not going on and on about my problem anymore. I was kind of bored with that anyway. And I like that I’m going to start talking about something differently. And I can already feel different even just saying these words. It’s amazing how I’m starting to feel that shift and feel a little better. So can you tell when I say just even that little bit how you start to feel a little better automatically?
Oh, yeah, it really, you know, a lot. It lifts that weight that you feel like you don’t feel so heavy. Suddenly there’s like, room, there’s that spark of hope. It’s like, hey, maybe I could actually do this, maybe there is an opportunity to change. So I think what you’re saying it’s that level of self-determination. It’s that level of being willing to just think differently, I like to say to my clients is, if you’re willing to think that today, it means you’re one step further than you were yesterday, because you weren’t thinking yesterday, that in itself, which would make that slight switch at the conscious, conscious level. So when they get to that point, Dana, what do you suggest that they can continue doing move through into that next phase? Now? They’re like, Oh, you that’s like, yeah, I love that phraseology to that you’re talking about. That’s what we would call getting off the cycle, perpetual sameness, you know, you’re really making that shift, you’re making that decision. And those are really the four steps.
So it sounds like we may have, oh, I think we dropped a bit of a call, Danica. So can you repeat what you were saying? Just in case something happened?
Sure. Can you hear me now? Yes. Yeah,
I can hear? I can hear you now.
Good, good. I was just I was just saying that that’s really synergistic with what we’re talking about. You’re really talking about getting off a cycle of perpetual sameness. And the four steps have to do with step one is getting aware. That’s why we call the company the mind where get your mind where to start paying attention. What are those things I’m chronically thinking about and chronically talking about? You know, and then step two, is to make the decision. That’s what we were just talking about a second ago, make that decision, make a declaration to make a change, and usually what I do because, you know, you’re going to bust yourself all the time, saying things that are less than positive. And when you do, just ask yourself, Is this the message I want to match? Because that reticular activating system is working all day every day matching this up? And so, is this the message I want to match? And if not, step three is to install the new programming. Start talking differently to yourself, start coaxing yourself into a new place. Start saying something positive mantras we post positive mantras on the Facebook page. For the mind. We’re just to give People ideas. And then step four, is feel the positive emotion. So really the only reason that you’re doing these little coaxing is telling a story or doing a mantra or trying to say something differently, trying to catch yourself and be easier on yourself. The only reason we do that is to generate positive emotion. And if you’re generating positive emotion, then it’s working. And so then what happens, once you’ve gone through those steps, and you start getting the juices flowing, and you start feeling better. This is what we call the point where you can take intentional action. And what we mean by intentional action is feel good first, then take action. You know, we live in a culture that is taught us when we feel bad, we’re supposed to just go make something happen, you know, we’re supposed to get out of our comfort zone and force something to happen, you know, it’s this real big idea of, if you feel bad, do it anyway. And what we subscribe to retrain your brain is feel good first, then take action, and we give 20 minute experiments because you don’t have to sit and wallow for three weeks and feel bad for three weeks, we can have you feeling good in 10 minutes. So as you saw here, you know, in 120 seconds, there was already the shift to feeling good. So once you start to feel good, it doesn’t really matter what you do at that point, you can take any kind of action, because once you’re feeling good, the action you take has success, you know, when you get in those moods, where it’s like you’re in the flow, and no matter what you do, it turns to gold, it’s like oh my gosh, everything’s going my way. Well, that’s the kind of feeling you can generate, where you can take any action, and you’ll have success. So life becomes much, much easier because the focus isn’t about the action you’re taking, make sure you’re taking the right action or make sure you’re doing this action because it’s popular, you’re doing the things you feel like doing because you’re doing them from that good feeling place.
So I want to kind of go back to feeling that positive emotion. So people are so familiar with what negative feelings feel like. Like physiologically, right? So what could some of our listeners sort of start to become aware of or pay attention from a physiological? How do they know that they’re actually in moving towards that positive emotion mindset? How can I tell?
Well, I would I mean, they’re the word I would use to describe that you’re moving closer and closer, and we’ve got a thing called the emotional scale. The emotional scale helps you move to a better feeling emotion each time you go. And one of the ways you know how to do it, the word I would use is the word relief. You know, when you start to feel a sense of relief, you know, you start to feel that relief. And you can feel it if you’re talking about physiologically you can feel it, you know, in your it depends where you hold your stress some people have you’re holding it in your chest, in your stomach, you’re going to feel the relief and the relief there. If you’re holding it in your jaw, you’re going to feel the release there, you’re going to feel the release in your shoulders. But as you start to feel better and better get into that good feeling place as you quit telling that same old negative story, you’re going to feel that feeling of relief, you’re going to feel that feeling of relief, it’s going to happen in your body as an expansiveness. Does that make sense?
It really does. And I like the way I really like. Because I think pretty much all everyone can relate or have some reference point to what it feels like to have that sense of relief. And that’s a really good starting point for people that are choosing to make this change at that conscious level. So they’re starting to feel that sense of relief. But they still feel like maybe they’re lying to themselves when they’re saying these affirmations. So they’re getting that sense of relief. But intellectually, they’re like, physiologically, their body’s sort of becoming in alignment with their saying, but intellectually, they’re like, this can’t be true. So what do you suggest when people are moving through that? And I believe it’s what you call a transition? Transition Tory statement. Yeah, I picture that word. transitory statement.
Yeah, that’s right. transitory statement. That’s not That’s not bad at all. Yeah. It’s interesting, because, you know, let me go back to the story of our filmmaker might be the easiest, you know, he’s going to these events. He’s very shy, he’s climbing up and he’s not having any success and he’s beating himself up over and over. So hold school affirmation style. The old school affirmation that would be great for him would be to start an affirmation that says, I’m an extrovert. You know, I’m an extrovert. I’m an extrovert. But when you say something like that, that’s so obviously a Wi Fi You know, your brain doesn’t accept it and your brain is like, right? You know, you get that argument, little angel on one shoulder and devil on the other argument in your head. So it’s not very effective at all, and you don’t really get any kind of emotional juice. And part of the reason why affirmations work even in spite of that is because of what you were saying that the physiologic physiology wise, if you say, you know, I’m an extrovert enough, you’re going to generate some juice, but you’re still going to have that sensation of lying to yourself. So what we did with him is we hadn’t started doing a transitory statement. And it’s a really easy one, we’ve got several ways that you can implement it. But this is the easiest one to explain. And everybody’s going to love it, because you can start doing it right now. That is using the word, but in a more powerful way. So you say the statement, whatever the case is, I’m shy. But things are getting easier for me. I’m shy, but I’m meeting all the people that count. I’m shy, but people like my style, I’m shy, but I’m getting my project made. I’m shy, but I connect with all the right people in perfect timing. So what happens the word but negates everything that comes before it. And you reinforce that mantra, that positive phrase that comes after it. So you still get to be you, you still get to be shy, but it’s not a stopper anymore, things are going away, things are getting easier. And so anything you have, you can use this, I don’t care if you’re a procrastinator, you know, if you are not good at picking up a phone, you know, anything that feels like a long-lasting problem. This is great, you know, if you if you have anxiety, or if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you know, I’m overwhelmed. My calendar is full, but I love my life. But I have so much good flowing through me. You know, there’s so many things that you can say that now, your situation doesn’t become a stopper or reason to beat yourself up. Does that make sense?
It makes total sense, you know, and I love it, because it’s taking that word and majority of us use, but and then follow it with the negative. But if we start practicing, using but followed with a positive, its mind blowing for me, actually, to consider that. It’s so simple. Because you know, in relationships, I love you, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. In my case, I keep saying but now it’s so exciting, I can use the word. But when you so when you replace the negative phrase with a positive phrase to support you, that really, I really liked that I really, really, really liked that. And something that our tenacious living listeners can really apply very simply. And it’s so powerful. You’re right, that word is such a powerful word. But when you use it to support you and use it to work, like you can tell I’m fired up right now. So I love it makes total sense to me.
And this is one of the reasons you’re exactly right. And this is one of the key things with train your brain we want to do to teach people how to use the things that your brain is already doing. But to use them to your advantage, you know this word, but it’s so powerful, we’re already using it. But if we just make that one small change, flip it flip the sentence, any sentence you say when you catch yourself having been on the you know, the negative side, after just flip that sentence around, and suddenly, now your brain starts matching that up instead.
I love that. Just it’s just so powerful. I was working with a private client on Sunday. And I often say to my clients use what you have and make it work for you. I said that at the beginning of the show. And he his challenge or his what he was holding him back for so long was his analytical. He was analyzing too much. I said we’ll start using your analyzing to support you. And he goes, what do you mean? I said, well, you analyze at work you forecast at work, so why not start forecasting in your personal life. So on yesterday, or Sunday, whatever it was, he goes, I’m putting in a time in my calendar to pre block to do my pre blocking. Analyzing but he’s recognizing that he’s using it for the right purpose. So he goes yeah, I’m and he had the biggest grin on his face. He’s like, I am so chunky. Right now I’m pre blocking a time to pre block my calendar for the next month. But that’s cool because it’s supporting me. Yeah, so anyways, it brought me into that but it’s what you say it’s Curie. I love it and I it’s a great example in If we have time, I would love to tell you one other quick thing for people with anxiety. Do we have just a minute yet? I’m watching the clock.
We, we have 15 minutes. Oh, please. Okay, good about anxiety? That’s Yes. Well, I’d say you, you made me think of it with that story you just told you, I really think it’s a good idea. Because we have a lot of people who maybe have anxiety or are OCD. And I speak as somebody who definitely I’ve got lots of OCD tendencies, and I love them, you know, because man, my place is organized, things are great, you know. But here, here’s the here’s the piece with the anxiety or the OCD, what I try to always tell people is think about what that really is usually, generally speaking, people who have that kind of propensity, what they do is they take some kind of a small situation, and they blow it up in their mind into a big situation. So they’re really gifted in that way, they have a real gift for taking something small, and blowing it out of proportion bigger than life in their mind. And really, if you want to get really good at training your brain, that’s exactly what you do with training your brain, you take some small, positive situation, and you get really good at blowing it up emotionally into a bigger emotional positive situation, getting more and more worked up to it in that direction, blowing it up into bigger than life dream. So the gift that comes to them naturally already, they really just need to keep using that same gift, but just pick something different to focus on. Right? Oh, is that?
It makes total sense. So really, what the instead of feeling that guilt or that shame that they have this natural tendency, which they’re currently using, that they see seen, to see it as validating all those negative thoughts about them, but if they choose to flip it around, then they can actually start using that same gift to really support them. Do you have an example? So you just alluded and I hope you’re okay with this, you just alluded that you have the OCD and any anxiety. So you’ve obviously got a very solid understanding of what you talk about, is there something in your story that you’re willing to share to help our listeners understand how you got to your where you are today?
Well, I think I absolutely. And I want to reiterate a couple of things, because I think you’ve totally got, you’re totally on the right track with this is that, first of all, remember, step one with the program is awareness, getting your mind aware. So it gets better with practice. So you know, and I always tell people, I’ve been doing these 30 years, and then the negative thoughts, you’re still going to have them, you know, I’m going to get mad at my computer at least once a day, you know, something is going to happen, that’s going to catch me off. So at least you know, every day something’s going to happen, that’s going to going to knock me from my center just a little bit one way or the other into a different emotion other than happiness. So it’s not like, you know, it’s unrealistic, I think to expect that you’re going to walk around being some kind of blissed out person, you’re everybody. I love that we have negative emotions. Because when you have negative emotions, you know, we have sensations on the end of our fingertips that feel pain, and we wouldn’t want to touch a hot stove and say, gosh, I wish I didn’t feel pain right now, I wish that I could just keep my hand here and let all the flesh melt off, you know, we would never do that we’re happy we can feel pain, because it guides us right? And so it’s the same thing here. You know, I’m going to you’re going to have things happen to you throughout your day that are going to set you off and that are going to not feel good. So step one is getting aware of it recognizing, okay, you know, I’ve been on my computer too long. I can tell I’m getting really frustrated and probably overly hungry. I’m not reacting to people or situations where I want to, I’m aware now, I’m aware that I’m irritable. You know, I’m aware that I’m feeling this way. Okay? And then deciding that you want to make a change and then doing what it takes to change thinking different thoughts, getting up walking in nature, listening to your iPod, whatever it takes. So, on that note, when you recognize that you’re having a moment where you’re thinking thoughts that you’re catching it, you see it has the propensity to gain some momentum and become overblown, you know, anxiety issue, when you get good at starting to catch it earlier, what you get better and better at as you go on as you get better at catching it and you get better at turning it around faster, that’s what train your brain is about. negative feelings are still going to come just like that your fingertips are still going to feel negative sensations, but you’re going to get better and better at catching them early, and turning them around. And then what happens is you start taking your OCD tendencies, and you start using them for telling your new story or saying a mantra. So when I tell a new story to myself, it sounds something like this. It sounds like you know, things are getting better for me, I can feel that things are getting better things are getting better and better. I feel myself getting lifted. You know, I’m making a shift, I can feel that shift in my body. I love that I can feel that shift. I can love that I’m getting uplifted, I can feel the expansiveness, things are getting better and better things are getting better and better. I love that the more I say things are getting better and better, it gets lighter and lighter, I’m just going to keep saying things are getting better and better. I wonder how many times I can say things are getting better and better, things are getting better and better, you know. And so you take those you keep, you keep that that vibration and that chant going and the good feelings going and you blow those up. And so what happens is, you really do get to that point where you’re light your light and you feel good. But you’ve Oh, you’ve done it. You know, people who aren’t OCD don’t have the patience to say things are getting better and better 50 or 100 times when you have that it just gets more and more fun. Does that make sense?
It does I It makes total sense. And it just kind of reminded me of something. When I was going through some of my own process, I had to really work on my anger and me and my guilt and shame and forgiveness was a huge thing for me when I was trans going through this shift. And so I would just say my mantra was, I am willing to be willing to be willing to be willing to be willing to be willing to be willing to forgive one day. Oh, it’s so good. I just kept telling myself, I’m willing to be willing not it doesn’t feel good. I’m willing to be willing to be willing. I’m willing to be willing to be willing to be willing. Oh yeah. Okay, that feels good.
So good. Oh my gosh, that just gives me goosebumps. That’s such a good one.
So what else can you share with us about telling these different stories? Is there anything else that you can share with both that?
Yeah, I love to share with you. Oh, no, go? Yeah. Carry on. What was it? Please? Well, well, I’m just really excited this is.
I love it. Okay. Well, I’ll tell you what it is I the thing that I think there’s a misconception about out there in the kind of positive thinking movement. And we run this and keep in mind my focus. I work a lot with entrepreneurs, you know. And so a lot of times, what happens with people with their businesses, and I think this happens generally across the board with live is that they tend to ping pong emotionally, between frustration and hope, frustration and hope, frustration and hope, frustration and hope so they get frustrated about something, they feel bad, they soak in their frustration or they’re upset, and then they something happens that makes them hopeful for a little while. And so one of the shifts we’ve helped people to make is that to help them understand that, again, it’s this idea of, you don’t have to be walking through life, all blissed out, you know, fawning over every little thing and blissed out appreciation every minute of every day to be successful or have a happy life. That really, if you can just keep yourself shifted into the emotion of hope. Keep yourself moved to, you know, emotionally, at least the feeling of hope, that naturally as you work, that feeling of hope, you will start to be pulled further up the emotional scale into feelings like belief and positive expectation and certainty and knowing and appreciation. So what we do is we give people an exercise called the hope exercise. And what it is it helps if you’re feeling really depressed, and we call it the hope exercise. And if you’re feeling really depressed, or really, really fearful, or really revengeful or something, it’s probably not a good exercise for you. But if you’re feeling just in that place of let’s, say, frustration or overwhelm, it’s a really good exercise. So if you’re frustrated or you’re overwhelmed, all the exercise, it’s so easy. You just start saying sentences that start with the words, I hope. So you say things like I hope I started to feel better. I hope I find a method that works for me. I hope I start to feel better. I hope something happens today that makes me feel good. I hope I run into somebody that gives me the answer I’m looking for, I hope I start to feel better, I hope I find a method that works for me, I hope things start going my way, I hope I start to feel better, I hope things get better. For me, I hope I make a shift in my emotions. I hope I can think of another hope sentence. And so you just keep doing these hope sentences, you know, people waves and people do it for two days. Like if you do nothing else, just keep saying these hope sentences every time you find yourself wanting to fall back into that feeling of overwhelm or frustration, just start seeing these hopes, sentences. And what happens is it keeps you emotionally in a feeling of hope for long enough that your brain has time to match up something externally, that actually really gives you some hope. And that starts giving you moving and more along that emotional scale.
So isn’t it amazing, Dana, that these they’re such powerful exercises yet. There’s so simple.
I know. I know. I say that.
You wonder why more people?
Know I say that all the time.
It really is common sense.
I know. I know. It’s funny because I sometimes you know, I’m making a speech or something I’ll say look at I feel sometimes silly standing up here telling you just to think differently, because I even myself, even now, after 30 years of this say, come on, it can’t be that easy. It really is that easy. No, you’re right. It’s so such common sense. You know, somebody came to me and they were in a slump in their business. And they were talking about their slump and talking about their song and talking about their slump. And it’s so obvious when you say, well, I promise you, you’re not going to get out of your slump by continuing to talk about it. And then everybody in the room goes, really? I mean, da, right, that makes so much sense. So why do we do it? Why do we do it, you know, it’s the path is not there, you cannot go that way in have success. And so once you start to wake up and become aware to it, it becomes almost kind of funny, and you get to live life in a happier place. Because like I say, you get to bust yourself every single day doing it. In every single day, you get the opportunity to go, oh my gosh, here I did it again. Dang it, Deena, you know, better stop saying that, you know?
Yeah, I’m just thinking, you know, one of the first prints like one of the principles of tenacious living is grace. And as we’re talking, I’m wondering if common sense and Grace or the simplicity of what you’re teaching is, its grace, it’s, it’s allowing it to be as simple as it really is not making it harder than it needs to be. So your teachings, your book is really embracing people’s ability to let things be easy.
What a beautiful word. Love that word to carry on. It’s just a perfect, I mean, Grace, you just can’t get much more beautiful word than that. I love that. You made that application for it that’s really feels good.
Because it is it’s allowing things to be simple. It’s making that conscious choice that that change at that conscious level to use, but use positive words after you use the word. But if you can stop using Word by just start putting good words behind it. That’s simple. Zach Cheney. Yeah. And it’s simple, but it’s challenging to put it into practice. And that’s why you and I are here to support everyone with that process when they’re stuck in it because it’s, it’s simple yet, making that effort to start using positive words when we’ve been programmed to use only the negative and when everyone around us is choosing that other path. We’re really choosing the path less traveled to quote, Waldo Emerson, right. It’s amazing. It’s amazing what you can do when you become aware. Yeah, right. So yeah, anything like just like, you know, it’s just really, really powerful. So we’ve got about seven minutes left. So I’d like to find out where like, obviously this is resonating. It’s a perfect fit with the listeners that are in with the show and I really want them to be able to find out more about train your brain. So where would people go to get more information about you about your teachings about your book? Tell us.
Well, obviously, the you know the book is it’s great. If you want to invest in the book, you can get it on Amazon, it’s easy to find train your brain. My name is Dana while but I can give you an even better deal for my favorite price free. We have a website, it’s the Dana. Dana wild, which is da new LD with an E at the end data wild dot biz put the biz at the end, we’ve got you know, the dot coms the regular site, but the secret site, the dot biz is access to a free training that can totally give you really get an A in the video training, that’s their last it’ll take about an hour for you to get through. But the beauty of it is, by the time you’re done with that hour, you really understand fully why your brain is creating the outcomes you’ve been getting up until now and how to make those changes. You know, I’ll tell you how I hear all the time, people using phrases like what you focus on grows, or what you think about you bring about I mean, there’s just so much out there now about those kinds of thoughts. Well, this training really answers the question, why? Why does it happen? Why is the brain set up to actually bring me what I think about bring about when I think about or what I focus on again? And then of course, once you know that there’s steps in the train that tell you exactly how to get out of it?
Well, how when did you first produce your like, or when did your first book first get released data because this is pretty powerful stuff that you’re sharing with the world?
Well, I originally wrote this training back in 2003, for my direct sales team, but I didn’t find the mind aware until 2010. And I was doing it in CD form and audio form for a long time, the train your brain program. And the book didn’t come out until just what, nine months ago, nine months ago, the book actually came out. And I’ll tell you something, too, since you asked about Korea, and thanks for asking, we have been really niched to helping people build businesses with it. And so the subtitle of the book is like how to build a million-dollar business in record time. And what we didn’t expect. And you’ll see it on our regular website, if you go there is people who were buying it to build their businesses, they were taking it and they were applying it to things like how to lose weight. So we’ve had people testimonial, somebody lost 63 pounds, and other lost 100 pounds using mantras and training your brain. We’ve had people using it for parenting, helping their kids, we have, you know, post-traumatic stress disorder survivors, you know, the wars, who have been using it to help manage their emotions and their stress and all of this stuff we didn’t really expect. And so now we’re kind of revisiting the idea of maybe, you know, taking the book and redoing it in a broader version to address more issues. But just know that even if your issue is not building a business, you know, whatever you’re using it for everybody else is using it for that same thing. And we’ve created a really good community of people who are working with this material every day, you know, it helps like what you said to is so important. And this is why the work you’re doing with tenacious living and getting people involved with tenacious living is so important. And that is, it’s so much easier to stay in these aware places when you’re around a bunch of other people who are also aware, you know, and you really created a community here where people can, can be aware of your issues and then not wile away and I’m about to say okay, what am I going to do to make that shift and to change that and that’s really, you know, we’re very much in alignment with that.
It’s, it’s really shift, taking away the, the, it’s the why, but it’s like, okay, now I know where I am, how can we move forward? How can we, if this tool is working in this area of my life, let’s try and apply it to this area of my life and see if it works there. It’s that willingness to try it in different avenues and I’m just so excited that you’re part you are officially part of the tenacious living community. Dana, I want to welcome him to that. I’m so excited to have you here.
I’m so excited to be there’s going to be lots more awesome things in the works. You know, tenacious living is just Yeah. Yeah, you will be can you will be part you are now All part of the tenacious living umbrella. So I’m really, really excited to have your training and your knowledge be available to our listeners when they’re when they’re ready to make that change at the conscious level. And that’s really where the community is, they’re ready to make that change. I love I love that statement. I love you the way that you put that that I anyways, I’m this me, this is my today, I tend to get excited. Dana, is there anything else? Is there anything else you’d like to share with our listeners, before we wrap up your portion of the call? Or else you’d like to share?
Well, I guess what I’d really like to say is, be easy about it, you know, I think I guess that’s the best way I can put it be easy about it. I think really all of us, we kind of make too big of a deal about everything that’s going on in our lives, you know, it’s very easy to do that it’s natural. And so just realize that, you know, we’re supposed to have fun. That’s what we’re here for it we’re supposed to be in this experience, in my belief, you know, my belief is, are we lucky to be physical? Aren’t we lucky to have this experience and have all these sensations and colors and sights and sounds at our disposal? And wouldn’t it be nice if we could spend a little more time just chilling out and relaxing? And kind of rekindling that word fun? You’re going to know incorporating more of that in our lives? You know, we haven’t, right? When we first come in little kids, if you look at them, you know they’re there. That’s all I want to do. How can I have more fun? How can I make more fun out of this moment, and I don’t think there’s any reason no matter what age you are, that you can’t rekindle that experience and just give yourself a break whatever you’re stressing or you’re worrying about or you’re feeling bad about, just make a decision that you know what, I’m just not going to make such a big deal about it anymore. I’m going to take it easier. I’m going to look for more fun. And I can give you a really good exercise that everybody can start doing right now. And I just started this myself this year. This is a new one for me. I decided how can I have more happiness in my life? What can I do to be happier than I thought? I know I’ve got an idea. Why don’t every day I reminisce about my day. And you can do this every week or every month if you want. But for me, I prefer to do it every day. And I think at the end of the day, and reminisce and think what were the things that I did today that made me happy. And once I figure out what those were, I just do more of those, you know, and become more aware of the moments that I’m happy and incorporate more of those. And so really, if you just start doing that you start becoming more aware because what will happen is one day you might play a video game for 30 minutes and it brings you great happiness. But if you play that video game for eight hours, it might not bring you happiness and so that’s the thing is becoming more of a what is bringing me happiness in my day. You know, what do I love? Well, you know, if I went to a music festival, it was so fun. I’m going to do more of these. I need more of these in my life. I’m took up the hobby, I’m knitting what I love doing this, I’m going to do more of this. So find out what makes you happy every day and do more of it. Does that make sense?
It is and isn’t that really developing the habit of happiness?
Yeah, boy, isn’t that the truth? Because you get really good at it, you know? Totally, totally and carry on. Just want to say that I want to say thank you so much for having me too. I may not get another opportunity. So I just want to just say I think you’re doing awesome work here and I’m so glad to be a part of this because you’re just really bringing good things to people in the world and it’s so fun to be had people to play with, isn’t it?
It is I love it. Dana, thank you so much for joining us today. I you know I know that you’re going to be a repeat guest on this show already. Yeah, I just told you that so but you’re going to that’s the tenacity and me coming out. But you know, it’s been an it’s been a wonderful hour chatting with you and getting to know more about you and your business and how you are, are supporting people in their life. And you’ve got a really your calling is very powerful. And I’m just honored to be able to have as a platform to support you with this. So thank you so much, Dana, for joining us. We will talk again very, very soon. Have a wonderful day. Take care. Bye. Bye. All right, everyone. Bye.
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