Hello, everyone, welcome to the Tenacious Living Radio Show. It is great to have you here on this wonderful, wonderful day evening. Night wherever you may be. This is a global radio station. So as I was talking with our guest in the greenroom, we never know exactly where you’re going to be at this time. So we thank you no matter where you are for being here. So thank you so much for joining us. It’s tenacious Living Radio show is all about lifting the weight of the world off your shoulders, rediscovering who you are, and awakening to the possibilities within and around you. And we use the three key principles of grace, gratitude and tenacity to do this. Really, the grace is allowing things to just be easy, let things flow don’t make things harder than they need to be people. It is amazing what happens when you just allow yourself to let it to let it all come into. And the gratitude is just the willingness to be grateful for everything that you have received to date in your life regardless of what the outside world believes that may look like and then the tenacity. It’s all about the self-determination, the willingness to keep trying to keep moving through until you find something that truly works for you and your authentic self. So that is tenacious living in a nutshell. I could talk for an hour just on that. We have a wonderful guest in the virtual green room and I am so excited to have her here. Her name is Tiffany Hammond. And today Tiffany is going to be talking about us to us about using failure to your advantage which is a perfectly in alignment with the message of tenacious living. Tiffany has helped people experiencing difficult transition find the energy to start over in life from a place of passion and purpose. She believes that life always serves our highest good even when it is painful. As a result of this belief she has made it her mission to help people love themselves the game. Tiffany has created a unique self-empowerment telecourse called Fail f a I l to win designed to ditch your old bleeding story and reinvent yourself on a solid purposeful foundation that is both sustainable and enjoyable. From CEOs to quote unquote Darren headlight graduates. She I know that one she teaches the tools that guide people to their highest trues Tiffany has truly come out on the other side of her own trauma and illness in a more empowered and happy than she has ever been. And she has made it her life’s work to help others do the same. terrifically Welcome to the tenacious Living Radio Show. I’m so happy to have you here.
Thank you so much, Gary, and I’m so happy to be here. I really am. Thank you so much.
How are you today? This evening? Where are you?
We’re, I’m in Colorado. I’m actually in the south metro Denver area in Colorado. So it’s late afternoon here. We actually have a little cloud cover so we’ll get a nice breeze weather. It’s gorgeous. It’s been warm all day without being blistering hot, nice. Hammock in the sweater.
I love having that mix are good.
Yeah, it didn’t get in right.
Now that’s the thing. Um, last week I was in Vancouver. I’m in Calgary this week. But last week I was in Vancouver and my friend actually just put up a hammock so we were actually trying to get into it. I landed my butt landed on the ground a couple of times and we laugh and it was awesome. It was great. It was just made that moment of being in the hammock that much sweeter when he could actually stay in it and like it the blue sky loved it.
Isn’t that the truth of it? You earned it you earned Yes.
So true. Funny. I am so excited to have you here because I I’ve read a little bit about your story. And I know that I believe with what you say using failure to your advantage. It’s key. It’s kind of that whole gratitude that I just started alluded to with, with, regardless of what has happened in your life, be grateful for it. So I’m really excited to hear your take on all of this. And I’m really interested to find out about this telecourse that you’ve designed to. So, oh, do you have anything to say before we get started? I’m like, pumping with excitement here. I don’t, I’m not sure where we should start?
Well, I think it’s funny, it’s almost like we planned it with the whole hammock thing, but it’s a really good metaphor for this isn’t it was not planned at all people.
Totally organic. That is you were talking about it. And then you know, just the juiciness of laying, I’ve earned this, that really is the interesting thing that comes after it, you know, going through the trials of building it, and then going through the embarrassment of falling out of it, and I’m still can’t do it. But when you embrace those moments with laughter, and with curiosity and playfulness, not only do you get the sweet reward of being able to be in it, but you’ve come to that place from a fun-loving mind, rather than what I call stress brain, you know, stress brain, by the time you lay down, you get to go. Finally, you know, you wouldn’t even really be able to enjoy the moment. And I think you and I speak a lot of the same language. When we’re talking about the mindset that goes into living our lives, I think we have some cognitive biases that tune us in to what’s not going right. So for everyone who’s out there, that’s like, yes, it works. In theory, nobody really lives their life that way. I’m here to tell you Marianna. And I really do we live our life from this positive place. And having said that, maybe I’m speaking for you a little bit now carries on. But that came after practice that came after deliberate practice, until it became our default. Because what happens is those the negativity bias and some other cognitive biases that go on in this wire wires us to not only look for the negative, because that’s what needs our attention. That’s what needs fixing. But it also tunes out the positive. So without the practice of tuning in, and literally rewiring the brain for the positive, you simply cannot see it. So both of you are struggling with this and don’t believe that it’s true. Yes, it’s true. And it’s going to be your own hammock experience trying to get there, right.
That is amazing. I love it. It is but it’s true. It’s a hammock experience. You got to keep trying till it swings, and you’ll land in it. And you’ll be like, oh, sweet, this is so awesome. Yeah, I love it.
That’s great. I love to use the word grace to and what you talked about having grace with yourself. And during this process while you’re figuring it all out, because it’s not your pre wiring, you can get there. And with help and encouragement and some steady, steady practice, you can get there. But understand that nobody starting point. So just exercise a lot of that grace with yourself while you decide to make these life changes.
What was your intention statement when you were moving through this transition in your own story? Actually, before I even get to that, I’d like to tell you, I’d love for you to share people a little bit about your own story. Are you okay with that? Which I think, you know, obviously, we’ve got a lot of similarities. And I’ve read your story. But I’m realizing maybe your listeners don’t know exactly your story. So there.
I actually really liked telling people about my story, because it’s interesting. And I don’t know if this is your experience. But when you talk about life feeling happy and excited, regardless of the things that are going that are difficult in your life, people have a tendency to say yeah, it’s easy for you because you haven’t had problems as bad as mine. So I actually really like to share my story because it exemplifies how you can come from a really tough time and still make these choices and still institute this practice and still really live this joyous life. So my background is my father was a criminal. He was in and out of prison my whole life, shot and killed by the police. When I was 19 years old, I was the only adult living relative they could find, to take care of the body and take care of all of that. In the meantime, while he was figuring out all of his stuff in and out of prison. My mom had acquired her own addiction. She was addicted to drugs and alcohol and abusive men. Yet, what got me through was this continuous journey back inward. I didn’t have a comfortable outward life. I didn’t know I kind of stumbled or kind of that we got it right. Like going inward. I found a gal that taught me how to meditate at that age. And I journaled a lot I wrote story that tapped into these things that were inside of me. I really became attuned to my inner world. And that really pulled me through it. It really made me see my mom through this lens that here was a really good person who could still make mistakes. I was a really good person who could still make mistakes, right? Like, it’s just it kind of flips things on its end because I wasn’t already attached to an outcome of what a mom should like, or should look like what a dad should look like. I didn’t know the difference, right? So those are my early years. Now, here’s the interesting thing. After college, I put myself through college. And after that, I met a great man. And we got married, and I stopped my practice, I had kids, we started a business, beautiful big home, and then I got meningitis. And I was, I nearly died, I took me forever to claim this as a near death experience. Because I had had one foot in that spiritual world for me, it was just like, oh, I just stepped over here for a second. And now I’m back. It didn’t even occur to me how close I was to having left this physical plane. And yet, my big realization coming out the other side of that, it was hard and I felt betrayed by my body do not make any mistake, I was in the depths of depression, that anxiety that you’re talking about in your, your own bio, and having come through that I had anxiety attacks, one after the other insomnia. So don’t think just because I say this, that this was easy for me. But when I looked back at that time, have I started to inch my way toward being well, again, I realized that the thing that got me through my abuse my trials, as a kid, my epilepsy, I had a brain injury sustained in the care of my father, as an infant. All of this, I had lost it. And when I started living in the circumstantial world, and I left my inner world, something got turned upside down. And the gift of having gone through this as an adult with the with the meningitis was brought back to my inner world that brought me back to calming of the mind, the practices that bring me peace and joy and concert, I could retrain my brain to react to my outer world differently. And that was the shift that really took me through that time up to now. And you know how this is when you’re empowered by something like that you have to share with the world. It’s like, I don’t have a choice. I don’t care if you believe in fate, or you know, this is my destiny thing, or I don’t do, when you’ve been through that you feel, the need the desire, the obligation, the want the joy and sharing. It can bring you and I through that. And you and I to this joyous place, we’re going over the edge of our metaphorical hammocks, then we want that joy to transcend us. We want other people to experience that no matter what they’re building a marriage, a business raising kids, because it’s all transferable when you have that inner peace. Does that make sense?
It makes it does. It makes total sense. And when you talk about the desire to help people know that there’s something better out there and they, they don’t have to stay stuck in it. I took that totally resonates with me. And it really is, for me, the inspiration of tenacious living is knowing that we have this experience, this experience didn’t happen to us. Brian Fleming, one of our guests from the global emotional awakening tele summit, he says the experience doesn’t happen to us, it happens through us. And by it happening to us, it’s allowing us to help other people move through their stuff. So I it totally resonates with me what you’re saying, and your story is incredible. And I know, you know, a lot of the listeners may be like, Oh, it sounds so extreme yet. I was like, Yeah, I can relate to the anxiety, I can relate to the insomnia, I can relate to a diagnosis of epilepsy I, you know, I get it, you know, having people in your life where you think that the perception of them is one way but allowing yourself to believe that they could be a different way is, is so empowering and so powerful. So yes, I understand what you’re saying. And I believe our listeners understand what you’re saying too. So when you get to those points, Tiffany, what did you do when you got to that point where you were like, Okay, I’m in this transition. I’m ready for something bigger and better and brighter and bolder, and all of those things. What, what did you start to do to make that shift yourself?
I’ll tell you, the biggest thing I did for myself was give up the necessity to understand the end game. I gave up knowing my goal and knowing I absolutely have to end up here because that circumstantial living, I absolutely have to have the big house absolutely have to have a successful business. That is what drew me away from the place that really could create anything of me eat anything of value to myself or to the world or to my children or to me, my husband, now my ex-husband, my husband at the time. And the realization for me was that I don’t have to know the entire path. I don’t have to know what’s at the end of this journey. My practice and this are coming back to the beginning of this conversation. My practice is merely having faith in my next step, that I’m that next step is either going to give me exactly what I need, it’s going to be clear, it’s going to be easy, it’s going to be painless. How often does that happen? Almost never. Or that next step is going to give me the exact lesson, I need to take the step after that. So if that lesson is practicing grace, if that lesson is practicing compassion, first with myself, as I’m healing, right, remember, I felt betrayed by my body, I felt like I had done everything right, what the heck happened. So first practicing grace and compassion with myself. And then that allowed me to show something for the people around me. And before I knew it, I had helpers, people who want to help me on my journey, people who want to help me with my business, who want to help me through the great things and the horrible things. And that was the biggest thing for me was letting go of life, we have this idea that life has to turn out one right way. And if it doesn’t turn out that one right way, somehow, we have failed, we’ve done something wrong. This is the nature of letting go in the first place is that we will soon as we are attached to one particular outcome, every other possibility that could still work to our favor, that could still jazz us up and still make a good end product. We’re blind to it, because all we can see is the one right way it should look. And the way that that we engage ourselves when these opportunities arise. They define ultimately how we feel about our lives in general, if we could hang up this phone, if this had died, if this had been with two other people that were attached to an uninterrupted phone call, hang up, be frustrated, what the heck is wrong with the world of technology. And as it is, we’re looking at this and saying this is an opportunity for everyone to see real time. We’re not saying this is Pollyanna stuff, we’re not saying don’t see the problem. We’re not saying ignore the problem. We’re saying that when the problem occurs, we have a choice to view it differently. And when we do that, we can take care of the parts of ourselves that will help us take care of others.
It and I love it, it is so true. It’s so you know, today, you’re actually we’re talking about using failure to your advantage. Now, in this instance, a lot of people would have considered that a failure. But for us, we’re like, that’s an opportunity to bring something new to the table.
That’s right. So let’s go a little bit more into that then. Was there anything else you kind of wanted to say about giving up the necessity to know your end game letting go of releasing yourself from the outcome? Is there anything else that you kind of want to share with that before we move into the nitty gritty of your business?
Yeah, really, I mean, the ultimate point is having a willingness to take whatever that next step is, and use it, use it to learn use it to grow, use it to dig a little bit deeper. It’s not about that, that goal, it’s not about that end thing. It’s about that next step, and really be present and vulnerable to it, so that you can be empowered by it. That’s really the upshot of everything. When I talk about his level of presence, such as says, I get a choice. I get a choice if I’m going to use this or I’m going to get you know, get a choice. Don’t let it tear me down.
Yeah, no, I when you set up shot, a big smile came to my face is like yes, that’s what I think to make this work for us. That’s right. So yeah, so there’s, in this may seem like an obvious question. However, I feel it’s important to ask your business really talks about you specialize in transitions. So what is it for you? Why are you specializing specifically in in the transition area with your clients?
Oh, well, you know, there’s a lot of life coaches that deal with people who are kind of rolling pretty good. They just sort of want to optimize their lives, a lot of life coaches in that arena, and that are willing to help people in that space. Now we’ve got a lot of support when we’re in the depths of our depression and anxiety, and the real dark places we can go when we feel betrayed by life in the form of therapists and psychologists. And so looking at those two sides, there’s a lot of help, whether you’re doing really poorly or you’re doing pretty well. There’s just not a lot of places for that middle ground when you’re going you know what followed all the rules, why hasn’t life turned out the way I thought it should? And I really wanted to kind of fill that gap for people and allow them to use that space out I want to exercise grace with themselves. You haven’t done anything long. You haven’t you’re not broken. You haven’t goofed anything up you just merely figuring some things out as wisdom comes and as life changes perspective and his life circumstances change you. So that’s I just wanted to grab that place where people oftentimes feel very alone. Why is it just me that can’t figure this out? Like, everyone else is an adult except me. Why is that?
I get it, because that’s very similar. What? Tonatiuh slip? It’s that transitionary phase, right? It’s like, okay, I’ve done everything right. I’ve got all the self-help books on my shelf. Why is my knife life? Not wait? I’ve read all about it. Oh, wait, we actually have to integrate and apply some of those concepts. And that’s really, all right, I got to do the work too. So I, so for me, personally, that was a big moment in my journey was like, and I remember telling my life coach, it was like, I’ve got all the books, I have all the knowledge. Why isn’t it working? And it’s just like, have you applied it? Oh, yeah. Right. Crap. Okay, let’s do something about this. That’s right. That’s right. So it’s so great to know that there’s more and more people out there who like, like yourself, and like me who are ready to support people in that transition? Would you say that the people that are in that transition are no longer in the victim mindset?
I think that that that place gives the two options, I think that without proper support without somebody or some influence in your life of some kind thing, it’s okay, you got this. Yeah, that’s kind of that turning point for people because we’re the brain learns by comparing and contrasting and are all of our cognitive biases are going to look, everybody else has got this figured out. And I don’t, and if that’s the comparison, and that’s the contrast, that is how very quickly we end up in a state of depression, very quickly, we end up anxiety riddled with anxiety is, you know, a disconnect between what we believe to be true and what we actually see in front of us, and it creates this disconnect. So I think that’s a pivotal time. If we do have that influence, if we do have that, that mediating voice of grace and gratitude, just as you said, a love that and tenacity, all of us. If we have that, then that’s the first aha, that’s that moment that says, I don’t have to stay here. I wasn’t here before there was a time in my life, when this doesn’t apply, I get a choice, I’m going to figure out a way to put those things into practice. And that’s, that’s it, there’s just a real delicate balance right there. It’s easy for people to go one way or the other.
So when you start to ditch, like, so quite often people like I can’t figure out what’s going on. Is that like a conscious resistance in your from, from your experience? Do you think people are consciously resisting change? Or is it just they don’t know anything different?
I think sometimes it’s both. I think, honestly, there’s, there’s that that element, you don’t know what you don’t know, right? There’s your unconscious where you don’t even recognize that you’re resisting? And yet, as we as these opportunities keep coming up. And that question comes, why can’t I learn that? Why does this keep coming up? I think at that stage, we are beginning to consciously resist it. Because there’s a part of us that knows it’s time to do something different. But it’s so uncomfortable. Because most of us do not have a support system that is doing anything different. Our support system is saying there’s one white one right way you should show up, you should get up you should go to a soul sucking job because that’s what you do as a responsible adult, you should have a mortgage, you can’t afford a car, right? Like we do these things. And when our support system is saying those are right, even when we begin to resist that. And another, there’s another way we fight that realization, because it flies in the face of everything that our ego has been told everything that we have been trained to believe is true. So it’s a little bit of both, but I think we feel the difference. I really do. And that’s that time when people start picking up that new book, they reach out to a life coach or they basically their friends and they stopped going out and they find it. Like it can happen in a lot of different ways.
Yeah. So I we kind of alluded to this a little bit and I think it goes nicely into speaking more about your self-empowerment telecourse it’s having that tool available to people, right. So before we go into that, and I don’t know, would you like to share what you have learned from your own hardships and failures? Or would you like to go into explaining your program what feels Are you at this point? What do you honestly, you know, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re offering up both because there’s so intermingled. You know, everything I’ve put together in my telecourse comes from, you know, the genesis of this course and the empowerment that I’ve come to, through my own trauma. Started in those first realizations, my big realizations are, I’ve got to really, before I can ever do anything that’s true to myself. I’ve got to know myself. I’ve got to know what my driving factors are going to what feeds me, what refuels me, I’m surprised or not anymore, but it’s surprising how often you ask people, what are your passions, what refills your bucket, and they go, I don’t know, I have no idea. And I was there, I never remember what that felt like it, you know, you should be my loving marriage, it should be my kids, it should be whatever, but somehow, it’s not. And so we first have to know really, what drives us. And when we dive into that, and we can recognize those pieces of us as they build up, we show up differently in our world. And we affect change without having to like force people to see things our way. They just go, ooh, she’s awesome. I want me some of that. So you start to morph, and they start to change and the conversation shifts in your life. Not all essence being is that you know, the more we try to memorize a bunch of steps of white ways to show up Oh, right, I’m supposed to have grace, the more we’re still living outside of ourselves. And when we tune in deeply to who we are, we can’t help but be the things that help us support one another gracious, compassionate, forgiving, forgiving patient kind, we can’t help but be those things when we do our inner work. And that changes everything we do. That’s why I use that term sustainable when we make change, and it’s sustainable and enjoyable. That’s what I’m talking about. Because you’re creating a life where you’re filling your bucket as you’re using what’s in it. It’s this constant feedback in and out, it’s a flow, it’s an ebb and flow rather than this constant. Well, I’m supposed to do this for so and so. And a good mother does that. And a good wife does that. And it’s a completely different way to show up. And it really is a place that allows you to keep coming back to center naturally, instead of consciously trying to remember to do so that’s why I created this program, because everybody can live this way. So say it was an acronym. Sorry. It stands for four all in love. It’s an eight-week program, chunked up into two, four different segments. And you talked about this earlier about the difference between being motivated, inspired and actually implementing it. So the first section is really digging into the roots of who you are. And then I tell you to go out in the real world and apply these tools, go screw them up, go make a fool of yourself, go figure stuff out. And then that second week, come back and tell me where your hardships were accounting where you got confused. Because it’s all theory. And it all works in theory, but we can’t integrate it till we see it in practical use. All is the connection. You and me were the same. We all deserve grace, we all are fallible, we’re all dealing with each other’s with the consequences of each other’s mistakes. And that’s okay. Is that great state of being the great I AM. And this is finding your secret recipe, what are the things you’re already doing? That you can’t help but be and really learning to fully leverage those own them first and then fully leverage them and then love with a capital L. That’s your grace, compassion and forgiveness and really understanding how those can be a state of being rather than a conscious doing. And that’s the program. So it’s transformative. It’s absolutely true. People are building businesses on these principles. They’re fixing relationships on these principles. And because there’s that integration piece, go out, use the tools, get confused, mess it up, bring it back to the table, and we’ll hammer it out. You can’t help but walk away, improved and changed as a result of the program. It’s transformative. It absolutely is.
I absolutely love that. It’s just It’s me, and I’ve loved the way you said if he can’t figure it out, bring it back and we’ll hammer it out. Because that’s really what it’s all about. It’s the willingness the self determination to keep trying till you figure out what it is that you that you want in life. I know what that deer in the headlight feeling is like when every time when I read that in your bio is like oh yeah, I know that feeling. And that’s exactly what Your students and what your clients are feeling like you want me to know myself. You want me to tell you what I want? Um, I don’t want this. Okay, but what do you want? I don’t Yeah. Well, let’s figure it out then. Because we’re not doing all of this for nothing.
actually Exactly. That’s the perfect time for that. Yep, let’s figure it out. Caz that’s it, getting down to brass tacks getting a little messy getting in there and being willing to work it out. Because look, if I was to sit down and ask you what your credentials are, you’ve got that memorized. If I was to sit down and ask you about all the archetypes that you play, business owner, wife, coach, find neighbor, you’d be able to tell me all about how you show up in your archetypes. But as soon as I asked you who you are, what you’re for. And what grace and compassion mean to you. Suddenly, it’s, it feels a little invasive. Why? No, I have a degree. I didn’t have a nice car.
What do you want? Yeah. No, that’s Yeah, question. It’s not what you have. It’s who am I? Right? Yeah, I’ve got the degree. It’s that fundamental. Without all of that, who are you? That’s right. I love that. I, you know, it kind of reminds me I had this conversation with one of my clients about, I guess it was just around four or five weeks ago. And we were working through, we’re using a time management tool to support him in building his future and his life. And I asked him, I said, well, what do you want in life? What are you building? What are you doing all this for? And he was like, I don’t really know. I was like, well, if I’m going to keep working with you, you got to figure out where you want to go. Because otherwise, we’re just sort of don’t know where we’re going. And it’s not that end result. It’s but who do you want to be at the end of all of this? Who are you? Are you striving? It’s not? What do you want? It’s not the outcome or anything like that. It’s like, what do you want to have in your life? Who do you want to be when we’re all said and done this, this coaching and this training? So I love that you’ve got this program that can really support people in moving through that, that that aspect of it, because it’s so important. So you said fail for all is love? Can you just sort of re summarize what each step is? Or are there steps within it? Yeah,
yeah, they’re perfect. So the four is, if I would ask you what you want, you’re going to tell me you want more money, you want more time, whatever that is. But as soon as I ask you what you’re for now we’re touching your values. And we find we define those right out of the gate. And we have a lot of different ways that we do that there’s tools to access that because the conscious mind doesn’t know to the, to the exact point you were just making about this client of yours. Our conscious mind knows what we should be doing, and the rules that we’ve been following. But it doesn’t really know our core values, it doesn’t attach anything to those. So the first thing is to grab those and get those out on the table. The second phase is all and that’s really seeing the inclusivity of everything, that you and I are the same that me and my community were the same that we’re all deserving of the goof ups, we’re all deserving of a learning process. And that there’s a place for past, present and time to all prep, past, present, and future to all exist in this moment in time. When we begin to get super, super present, we see that all things are included in this moment. And this moment is all that we have. That’s all we don’t have a guarantee of anything other than this word I’m saying right now. He is, is that great? I am What is it about you that you already are? That you can’t help but be? Are you tenacious or you’re curious? Are you a problem solver. And again, we use tools to get down to those so that we can really own those strengths, and then fully leverage them because what we do with our strengths, if our strengths can easy to us, we issue them. We say oh no, but that’s why don’t count that I’ve always been able to do that. Like if we didn’t work hard for it, it doesn’t count for some reason. And yet we’ve got these abilities within us that we’re not tapping into that we’re not fully leveraging when we go to shift ourselves into a full state of being as a CEO, as a new employee as a new husband, right where we can’t show up whole and complete until we fully recognize those bits of ourselves. And then that love we talked about the basis of love with a capital L. So love as a state of being and that includes grace, compassion and forgiveness. Understanding the difference between the three and understanding that when we are polling complete and are now, we cannot help but be gracious. We cannot help but be compassionate and we cannot help but be forgiving. At the end of all of this practice, we recognize that when we are that present, we have all the energy, we need to take our next step.
So, did I just hear you say that grace, compassionate and forgiving are three different things?
They’re very closely related. But yeah, I really do view them as three different things. Absolutely. Yeah.
I really like that. Tell me a little bit.
Yeah, the differentiation for me is if I’m forgiving something, so you hurt me, I carry the story with me until I ultimately go, you know what, I’m not saying it’s okay. But I’m willing to let it go. I’m taking back my energy. And I’m going to, I’m no longer investing energy in that. But I have experienced a certain level of hurt from that. Grace, is in the moment that you hurt me, rather than create the story and carry it with me. Instead, I say, you know what, I’ve been the person who’s been low on my coping mechanism, I’ve been the person who’s been a jerk from time to time, I know that you and I are the same, that we’re fallible, and we’re going to make these mistakes. So I’m just, I’m letting it go. Right now, I’m not wrapping up the story. And I’m not taking it with me. Compassion is when we don’t even see that that moment to decide compassion is when someone has been by all appearances to anyone else’s, I completely rude to you. And all you can do is just love them. All that person’s hurting and love you. And you don’t have to say it out loud, but completely different place that you show up in because you don’t internalize it at all, not long term, not short term. Not at all. There’s nothing about that person’s process that becomes painful to you, in that moment, or afterward. Does that make sense?
I’m, quite frankly, I’m having one of those blown moment blown mind blown moments.
I was in Vancouver last week, doing some training, business training, getting marketing and workshop material all sorted out. And one of my biggest lessons is differentiate differentiating between empathy and sympathy, and free for me, I was practicing compassion, rather than anything else. So I’m just totally a little off topic. But totally on topic is that compassion, regardless of what they do to you, you have compassion for them. And even in compassion for yourself in that moment, but just being willing to let it go. So see, hearing your perceptions of the three states of being of grace, compassion and forgiving. I’ve really, really, really like it. I don’t think I said it enough. I really, really, really
well, the levels, right. And that’s where we get to with practice and what you’re talking about reflecting on empathy, and sympathy at that moment of reflection takes us just a little layer deeper. And one day, we just show up differently. We go oh my gosh, that didn’t bother me that a year ago would have bothered me or week ago would have bothered me, for some reason, that didn’t bother me. And that’s when we start to see really genuinely that we’re showing up in a way that is full in the moment. There’s nothing anybody can take from us. There’s nothing anybody can or fear isn’t out there ready, ready for somebody to steal from.
You know, I love that. I think your phone’s cutting out a little bit of gain. But you know, yeah, you’re definitely gone. So I’m just going to keep talking until you come back because I know you will. You always have you always will. So that’s pretty amazing. Let me just see what’s going on here. Yeah, we’re just trying to get you back online. Again, Tiffany. So what I’m going to do is I’m going to repeat what she just what I heard her say fail, which is her course fail equals for all is love. And that’s the fail to win came from. Are you there, Tiffany?
Can you hear me?
I can hear you now. Can you hear me? No.
You know, I have no idea what’s going on.
I think it’s the mountains between us solar flares or something? I don’t know.
Well, the other night when I was getting out of my car after driving from Revelstoke to curb Calgary, I looked up and just as I was opening my car door, I looked up and there was a shooting star that just landed and I was like ah that’s a sweet so In that moment, I saw a shooting star so it could totally be the flowing could be all that. So, okay, so what I want to so fail the name of your telecourse is quote unquote fail to win. I absolutely love that. So what I want to find out is what is the biggest advantage people gain from your course, when they take this course, I, some of us will be like, well, that’s fairly obvious, but I really want to hit it home, I really want them our listeners to understand the biggest advantage people gain from your course. And really, I kind of want to take it back to using failure to your advantage. So how does using failure to your advantage tie in to this to this course telecourse she may be gone again. I talked for too long. Darn it all people. This is awesome. I so love live radio. I just love it. So I’m waiting to find out again, another big cliffhanger. What is the biggest advantage people gained from your course. And I want to find out how we can use her program to really capsulate how using failure to your advantage can really be supported through her self-empowerment telecourse she’s just leaving us on that hammock. We’re just hanging in there swing in and we’re waiting and we’re waiting for if any come down. Are you there? This is awesome. I’m so excited. And I’m trying to figure out where we’re where to go with this. No. Okay, so we are going to she just sent me a different message on Facebook. So I’m going to send that to my producer and he’s going to try dialing it. So in the meantime, you know, everything in while they’re getting that worked out. I’m just going to like totally say that this conversation is just so amazing. Tiffany, are you there? Okay, she’s not there yet. So. So this call, like, Tiffany is the name of her business is the wellness accomplice. And I’ve I’m imagining that she’s using the word accomplice to really support us through that transit, that difficult transition. So you need as she was saying as much as you need. There’s like the two extremes, right? There’s the depressed phase. And then it’s like, oh, I got this ball polish. And I just need to keep moving through. It’s that middle piece. And it really feels like Yeah, I think using the word accomplice is the perfect way to express how that you’re you have an accomplice to serve and support you moving through that wellness transition. Because you’re no longer in that. In that Ill sickness or the Paralyzed state, you’re actually starting to learn to walk again, I guess that would be for me, one of my relating to one of my businesses or one of my journeys was getting my body used to moving again, after 10 years of being fairly sedentary and on medication that it didn’t need to be on. Just getting your body used to moving again, very much in line with the wellness accomplice just being willing to how allow that support to be in your in your life to really support and serve you in becoming well again, and building that foundation that is both sustainable and enjoyable. And really, you know, taking what has happened to you and then in the past and using it to empower you. And we’ve got the phone ringing again. So I’m thinking that we’re trying to get her on the line. Hello. Oh, there you are. So happy to hear your voice again. This is a super bonus because not only do I get to hear you say hello to me once I get to hear you say hello to me every 10-15 minutes. I mean there’s so blustering now oh my gosh. Are we back? Are we on air right now?
You are broadcasting live baby.
It really is great. I’m so excited. Because the question was how can we use failure to our advantage? The obvious thing that could happen after this call it goes in and out the technology knows nothing’s worked for a radio presenter than dead air right. And, but here it is because I know we don’t have a whole lot of time left, here’s how you use failure to your advantage. All of these missteps have challenged Marianne, as a radio talk, show experts to use every skill she had, everything about this call has drawn on everything she already has going for her. And it has strengthened her, her producer out in Serbia. This has done so much to connect and reconnect, use the patient’s use the grace, all of these things we’ve been talking about, to call a different number to call back to try again, these are building up the skills in us that make us succeed at everything in life. And it’s me as a guest, it would be so easy for me to go oh my gosh, no, not again. But if I’m doing that, by the time we reconnect, I’m not present enough to connect these dots and make this useful to anyone. So it helps me focus on my message and use this as an example for all the people who are listening. And it really drives home the point over and over again. But it really drives home the point that we’re not talking about Pollyanna stuff, we’re not saying stay happy, it’s your attitude is your choice. And you’re looking at people who by all appearances don’t have anything going wrong. We’re showing you real time how our attitude affects the value of this program, in spite of the challenges. And now because we’ve had this conversation, not in spite of. But because of these challenges, it’s given us an opportunity to talk about failure in a very unique way that says, don’t looking at the positive and looking at the advantages of the situation is never denying the pain points that’s painful beings losing connection over and over.
But it is what it is right? Yeah.
But it is what it is. And what we do with that life experience is our choice. And that’s the key takeaways. I know I’m watching the clock with you. I know that you’ve exercised so much grace and patience and all of us to keep reconnecting. But that right there is how we use failure to our advantage. What is what is perfect about this moment, if I say, Boy, I really wish I was a more patient person, what’s my classroom for patients going to look like? It’s going to look like this phone call. It’s going to look like being the listener on this phone call Oh, really, to really recall again, are you? Well, guess what, everybody just got a practice at patience. Everybody out there. Just got a practice at Grace. And this is what this is going to look like in your own life. This is the value of these painful moments. Just because they’re painful doesn’t mean they have to include suffering. Suffering is the story we take forward, caring and we’re going to take for it. Well, that was a hoot. We talked about a hammock in the beginning. conversation was a hand.
And project I use that metaphor more than once during the times where you guys are spending. Oh, yeah.
It was good. Like, gosh, oh, my gosh. So anyway, I’ll let you I know, we’re at the top here. Actually, we got an extra five minutes where you were while the issues were extending us for an extra five more minutes. So we’ve got lots of time, I don’t want you to leave, just not leave on purpose.
We’re just rolling now.
So having said all that, that’s obviously we’ve they’ve just experienced real time what they can gain from your course very, because you took this situation and you wrapped it up in such a way and reshaped it to make everyone involved feel that there’s we’re coming out of this something good. We’re using this as an opportunity to empower us rather than disempower us. So just based on that little bit. How much more can they just I’m just imagining the advantage people gain from your course having going through the entire course. It’s just mind blowing to me what they could possibly benefit from your work.
Yeah, yeah. The biggest takeaway that I hear over and over and over again, people are stunned at how the other people in your life here they’ve given up control. They’re saying I’m not going to make my mother-in-law behave differently toward me. I’m giving up control over my overbearing boss. I’m coming to me and I’m coming to center and I’m working on this in good stuff. And the biggest advantage, people have said over and over again through this course, they cannot believe how in doing this inner work, the people around them straighten up all appearances. Suddenly, because they’re showing up differently, they’re showing up with grace. And they’re changing the habits of aggression toward one another, or the eye rolling whatever that is, because that’s no longer happening. These other people don’t have an option, but to show up differently. And it’s absolutely changing business relationships, personal relationships, parental relationships, simply because we’ve gone inward and taken back control from the one area, we had it and the one area would pass it off. We tried so hard to gain control in our outer world, we don’t have control out there, we barely have control over it. And yet, we trade it off all the time. That’s the biggest thing. That’s the most transformative feature of taking this course, and really not the course of doing the work of the course.
I absolutely love it. I just think it’s amazing what you’re doing and what you’re bringing, and how you’ve used your story to really serve and support other people in moving through their transitions. And it’s not just a transition, it’s a difficult transition. So what would be a while during one of the last breaks there while we were trying to get you back online? I have two questions on my mind. First, I was making reference to your business name the wellness accomplice. So I’ve made some assumptions as to why you made chose that name. I’d like to find out why you chose the word accomplice for wellness. And let’s start with that. Because I forget what the other question.
I’ll come back to you. I can love the combination of accomplished it’s kind of like being a partner in crime, right, I want to lay down because the default, the normal that we’re so used to is actually the thing that is the empowering, it’s over and over again. So if we’re going to rage against that norm, we’re going to actually come back to the state of wellness. So there’s it’s turning it on its head just a little bit. I’m your partner and going against the traditional grain so that we can become part of the overall flow together. And so it’s that partnership, and it’s a little bit of that we’re doing that this this abnormal thing, right and finding the normal, but I wouldn’t use air quotes around that term. Because what is normal anyway? Yeah, yeah. So that’s actually why I chose that I just kind of wanted to flip it on its head just a little bit and get you thinking and look at you need to accomplish I need somebody outside of my circle. That’s telling me this is the one right way to help me find my own right way.
Absolutely. Love that. And that’s kind of what I was imagining you were using it for.
Your intuitive part, right? Yeah.
So one last thing, before we kind of wrap up, is, I saw something about a free month like call on your website. And so can you tell us a little bit more about if people wanted to join your free monthly phone call? And where can they find out more information about you? Last but not absolutely, yes. So I do offer a free monthly call, it’s the third Friday of every month at 9am Mountain Time. So do the time difference and figure that out or works, come to my website at www V wellness accomplice.com and go to the free resources page and you can sign up for it there. And it really, it’s not one of those where it’s you know, 15 minutes of content and 45 minutes a sales pitch it is really core issue type content. We’ve talked about healing shame, we’ve talked about meditation this month, we’re talking about making the most of your networking connections as you’re out there trying to build businesses or try to create a new circle of friends. So it really is the things that you’re doing in your real life. And my goal is to get these tools that I use into as many hands as possible. It’s free. You don’t have to expose yourself on the call and it’s completely anonymous. There’s no risk to you whatsoever. So if you do nothing else, make sure you’re coming to those free calls every month and then of course if you want to join the membership, you want to get one on one coaching you want to join the class. The consultations are free too. Let’s talk about it. I’m more than happy to find a custom fit. It’s going to work for your budget, your timeline, your personal goals, all of that.
Excellent. I absolutely love that. Absolutely love that and I will probably be dialing in the third frame. Yay it’s really exciting for me is we’re in the same time zone was working on a global scale. You know, it’s like we said, you never really know who’s going to be were, like it’s almost midnight for our producer in Serbia right now. So you just never know. So I’m Tiffany, I want to have you back.
Come back. Come back. Yes, please.
Excellent. I’m so excited to talk more with you. So with that being said, we will be arranging another time for you to join us on the radio show. And I just want to say thank you so much for joining us. I want to officially welcome you as an honorary faculty member of the tenacious living organism.
Oh, oh, my gosh, I just feel so lucky to have even met you today, what you’re doing and putting all this good work out in the world. I feel absolutely honored to be a part of it in any way that I can. So good news to you and anybody who’s listening? Yeah.
Excellent. Okay, Tiffany. With that, we must say goodbye. But not forever, just for now. Good. Good evening, for now. We’ll talk to you soon. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. Yeah, I’m so excited.